i spy

I spied on someone the other day.

First, I should preface this posting by telling you that the Coffee House has been closed for the past three weeks due to a leaky roof that culminated into a structural problem in the men's loo. The carpentry shop along with others have been working on getting one of the favorite places on station back in running order.

So, I was running on a treadmill in the "Gerbil" Gym a few days ago, looking straight out of a 2x2 foot window toward the Coffee House where Dave (the guy who had to patch up a hole in the crashed Pegasus aircraft) was finishing some metal work on the roof.

I watched him toss off his used and broken parts, clean up his tools and put them away, walk over the roof to inspect the creases and make sure his metal was secure. After all this, at the close of his workday, he began to walk off. But before he moved too far away. He stopped and turned around and looked at his work. He took one more walk back to the building, and made sure his work was good and complete.

I got to thinking a bit how God must look at his redemption work in our life. He tosses off the used and broken parts of us and he looks us over for any adjustments that need to be made, or things that need to be smoothed out. And, when he's done forgiving us and making us clean again, he steps back and admires his work in each one of us. The only difference is that Dave will likely not have to fix his handiwork for the next few years; whereas God is in a continual process of redeeming our sinful selves.

interpersonal relationships

Throw a heap of adventure-seeking people from all over North America and the World together and you'll come up with some unlikely relationships. It is amazing and fascinating to sit across the table from someone entirely different from myself and find out what motivates them and keeps them going. There is an amazing amount of appreciation I have for such a diverse group of friends and acquaintances who are bound by a common traveling mentality.

However, I have realized over the past couple months how inherent selfishness is to the way we relate to others. In fact, I have had more than one person tell me that I need to relate to other people in such a way that is beneficial to myself. I suppose I have a desire to protect myself and desire my own happiness, but something in me pushes against such a self-indulgent attitude.

I disagree with that understanding of relating to one another. It seems to me that the healthiest relationships are those that have a good balance of give-and-take; when each party is concerned with the welfare and livelihood of their friend. I know my self-image is a hindrance, but I have tried to live with an "others first" motto in life. Sometimes I even have to be pushed away or be put out with the realization that the world is bigger than me and it probably means someone else gets a break, or a bonus in life.

Most people probably don't even realize their self-centered attitudes are affecting others. But, consider the ridiculous lawsuits: a child falls off a playground slide and the manufacturer is to blame, a woman burns herself with hot coffee and the restaurant is at fault, or someone physically assaults a coworker and the company takes the blame for a indecent working environment. Are these really scapegoats for our own accidents or actions? Or what of our society pumped full of junk and litter of all sorts in our stores and on our curbs. Cheap toys, ridiculous inventions, and trinkets of all types are a waste of time, labor, and resources; yet, the spoiled wealthy of the world feel that such junk is necessity for their happiness.

America is full of selfish individuals out to get, get, get. The question is no longer, "what can I give to others," it has matriculated into an ugly issue of "what will I get out of this." I guess I wish that people would consider the thoughts feelings and needs of other people who might be affected by the decisions they make or the words they say. Is that a selfish request?

I read a book this summer that turns this around in an eloquent and thought provoking way: I have two things to say to that, he said. First, none of us can avoid being contaminated by the world’s evils; it’s all a matter of what attitude you take towards them. And second, you always talk about the effect of ‘these people’ on you. Have you ever thought about your effect on them?” -- Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi --

christmas

Lucy always seems to come up with the amazing provocative lines in CS Lewis’ Narnia Chronicles. After entering the Stable after The Last Battle in the old Narnia, Prince Tirian meets the royal lineage of the kingdom and:

He looked round again and could hardly believe his eyes. There was the blue sky overhead, and grassy country spreading as far as he could see in every direction, and his new friends all round him, laughing. ‘It seems, then,’ said Tirian, smiling himself, ‘that the Stable seen from within and the Stable seen from without are two different places.’…‘yes,’ said Queen Lucy. ‘In our world too, a Stable once had something inside it that was bigger than our whole world.’ " -- The Last Battle, CS Lewis --

It's amazing what a vast amount of hope and joy are on the other side of believing in the Christmas story. My analogy right now would be seeing the earth from the perspective of one who only knew the cold, white, gray, brown, blue of Antarctica. Knowing there is a beautiful world out there is one thing, but stepping out the door of the C-17 in New Zealand to smell and see the green land north of me will be a big and beautiful experience. And that is what it is to hope in Christ. Believing it is one thing; and then I get to look forward to the beautiful experience that will come. Like Lucy, I am miserable in my patience and waiting, but so hopeful and expectant.

So, today, I celebrate the baby that was born into our normal world to offer us all a spectacular amount of hope if we believe.

Merry Christmas; wherever this finds you!

amazing sunday

Today is an amazing day. It’s such a great day because I’m wearing capris in Antarctica and I’m not even cold outside! It’s also a great day because it’s my first Sunday off in a long time where I can have Sunday morning brunch with unlimited fresh fruit, and Belgian waffles and everything breakfasty that I could possibly want! It’s a great day because I was able to go to the Chapel and sing Joy to the World to celebrate Joy on the third Sunday of Advent; I love to sing! It’s a great day because my favorite mountain range, The Royal Society, is out so brilliantly it forces me to believe in some Creator far greater than I, who squished and squeezed the earth together to form such a tremendous natural skyline. It’s a great day because I slept 10 hours, feel refreshed, and had a casual morning over coffee and tea with Lucas; my best Antarctic friend. It’s a great day because God has been good to me and I can feel Him; his love, beauty, life, grace, joy, and creation moving around me in the beautiful people, places, and scenes.

Be careful that you do not refuse to listen to the One who is speaking. For if the people of Israel did not escape when they refused to listen to Moses, the earthly messenger, we will certainly not escape if we reject the One who speaks to us from heaven! When God spoke from Mount Sinai his voice shook the earth, but now he makes another promise: “Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.” This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain. Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a devouring fire. -- Hebrews 12:25-29 --

following a star

And the star the wise men had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him.
-- Matthew 2:9-11 --

The wise men followed a star to mark the birth of Jesus. And, not that I followed a star to come to McMurdo Station, but I did neatly fit into God's plan when I flew down here, again, this fall and found myself standing underneath this silvery apparition.

I stood, alone, under this holiday decoration strung between some power poles on our dirty road the other day, looked up at the brilliant blue sky, and just smiled; giggled, actually, with joy. Who would have ever believed that I would celebrate Christmas (two years in a row) in Antarctica? It certainly wasn't me, but here I am. And, who would have believed that a child born in a barn would counteract the effects sin brought upon this entire world? But there a Savior was born and people from all around knew, saw, and felt the glory of God come down and the went to seek it with blind faith!

My laughing under our fabricated star came from a joyful heart; a believing, faithful, thankful heart. Sometimes, though, I feel a little like Sarai when she was told she was going to give birth to a Isaac in her old age. Even though I've seen God's work, part of me still laughs at the possibility of God coming up with more big things happening in life, because of their peculiarity, or outlandishness. But, he brought me here. And, he brought Jesus to the world, and no matter where he sets me next, I am still His; doing big things in little invisible ways, or in huge statements.

low visibility

We have had a lot of stormy weather this year. There have been a good number of low-visibility days where we can’t see more than 10 miles across the sea. Tonight, I wandered down to the Chapel to look at the mountains and I realized that I often expect to see evidence of God like I expect to see the mountains off in the distance down here. Sometimes I can’t see them at all and at other times they are only partially exposed and I can’t see how grand they truly stand. But, I know they are there and when the conditions are right, I witness one of the most spectacular views in all Creation!

There is beauty in the clouds, too. Having faith in something means that you believe it even when you can’t see it. It’s knowing that something is there; but just out of sight. Even when I have low visibility on life, I know God is still charting my course and directing my steps. It just takes more faith on my part to see myself to the next clear day.

ups and downs of snow

The frozen continent is warming up. Last night it was like Christmas mornings are supposed to be in the States. The wet big snowflakes were gently falling in the windless sky and the weather was warm; at least, not intolerably cold! Town is white and clean-looking again; not dirt-ridden.

The snow moving in and falling was beautiful until it became the instigator of our C-17 cancellation from Christchurch. If you haven't gathered this yet, a C-17 flight coming in means: packages, fresh fruit and vegetables, new faces, or a smaller town population (depending whether you want to see people coming or going), and a lack of extra processing of flight delays and changes at work. So for a girl who is still waiting on a couple birthday packages that have been late and sitting in New Zealand since mid-October, those flights are something to put a smile on my face; when they make it to McMurdo.

But, back on the bright side, I got a special gift this morning that actually came from giving someone a gift. A friend of mine lost his hat a few days ago and was on his way to a field camp this morning for a few weeks. I figured he should have something to keep his ears and head cold out on the flat white of Antarctica, so in my abundant downtime at work last night, I crocheted him a new hat. Although, I have a few other projects I'm working on right now, it really did not take me very long and I felt like it would serve a good purpose. So, this morning, he was hurriedly packing his bag in the hallway when I came out of breakfast, so I threw the hat in his bag too, and got an incredulous smile when I told him it was for him. I guess, it was a lesson in giving something from the heart. I didn't expect anything back; well, maybe a general 'thanks.' I just wanted to do something nice and I was rewarded with a grin from ear to ear and abundant thank yous and by watching him sport the new head accessory like it was already a permanent fixture! To me my gift was a small one, but I saw a heap of rewards. If only we always got to see that joy from our little insights, compliments, conversations, and even the tangible gifts we give. They can act as the accessories we decorate everyday lives with!

phot-ob-raphy

I climbed Ob Hill (short for Observation Hill) for the first time this season on my Wednesday night off. This is a volcanic mound of earth that sits about 900 feet high right next to McMurdo Station. Last year, it was covered with white snow. This year, very little snow settled in McMurdo over the winter, and the hill has been nearly entirely bare. From the top, we have a great view over the rippling sea ice and across to the continent and the huge mountain ranges it hosts.

My friend, Aaron, a photographer (first and last picture on this post are by him), took the climb with me. We enjoyed the gorgeous view of sea ice and mountains with the sinking sun. The temperature in town was +5F and the temperature at the top was probably about -5F. Even at the top of the hill, the wind was all but gone which provided us with one of the nicest evenings to take in our part of the Ross Sea.

In the cold air, it did not take long for my sunglasses to fog up and freeze. There is nothing more annoying than glazed and frozen glasses; especially in Antarctica where the UV rays are especially strong. Thankfully, for most of the climb, we were on the shadowed side of the hill. I had fun watching the frost grow on my hat and scarf. I even felt my eyelashes sticking together with ice.

One of the most intriguing pictures from Aaron was one of my eyes in the low sunlight. I like the color, but it is surreal. I fiddled around with the image in Photoshop and came up with a black and white photo and the crazy eye color. The white on my hat is a frosty coating of my breath.

tent island fatamoragana

A beautiful sight across the sea ice today was Tent Island. The natural occurrence called fatamorgana played against this island today. Most folks are familiar with this phenomenon in desserts when it is frequently called a mirage. When the air density is thicker near the surface of the earth, the moisture magnifies whatever is on the ground (or in this case, on the ice).

I took a tour with the crew of the C-17 today and instead of bringing them to the store, which was closed, Kaska (the newest air services rep) and I drove them over the hill to Scott Base. Upon cresting the hill and descending on the small Kiwi station, we had a beautiful blue view of the rolling pressure ridges. This year they are much more dramatic than last and it almost look like the sea is rippling into shore.

Ross Island (where both McMurdo and Scott Base are comfortably situated) leans against a permanent chunk of sea ice. This ice chunk, fed by glaciers, is the largest of it's kind. Its thickness varies from 600 - 2450 feet of mostly floating ice, and it's breadth spans the area of France. The other side of the island is flanked by temporary pack ice. This tends to thin out and melt in the summer months down here. Pressure ridges appear along the shores of our island as both types of ice push against land. Ridges also form a bit as the temporary ice pushes against the permanent ice shelf.

My new Italian friend, Roberto, who is doing PhD research for the Smithsonian Institute on the Weddell Seals this year showed me some of his pictures today. The seals are beginning to give birth and he had some tender photos of mother and pup within hours of their birth. I like seeing the excitement of the grantees and their photos are a great reminder of what we are doing here to support this station and their research.

the creator's paintbrush

I stayed up too late last night. It was worth every bit of time though. I viewed a simple and marvelous cloud formation brush across the dusky sky over Mount Discovery toward the Royal Society Mountain Range in the form of nacreous clouds.

There is something profound and beautiful watching this cloud wisp its way through clear cold sky over a mountaintop and across a 25 mile expanse of flat purple sea ice. I felt like God had touched his brush to the sky to remind me (and all of us) that his careful hand is still placing intense brushstrokes across His masterpiece that is our existence on this planet. This is not an errant mark on the landscape of life; this is a deliberately placed inspiration to continue his work and renew His creation. This second trip to Antarctica is not by accident or whim; it is a deliberate event determined by God to love and serve him and the people I am around.

He has made all things beautiful in his time. - Ecclesiastes 3:11 -